Installing a soft serve ice cream machine in the office is a life-changing move
I reassessed my life and I realized that a life without constant access to soft serve ice cream is not a life I want to live anymore... I trade [shooting a diamond out of my dick] in a heartbeat. I mean a soft serve machine. It's like a, it's a gold mine. It's a dream of mine. It's the best. I love soft serve ice cream. It's so good. And it's good for you.
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View episodeThe NBA Draft Lottery is rigged despite the league's attempts to prove otherwise
I think the media is now welcome at the draft lottery because he used to see it behind the scenes... he was laying it on thick. He was doing a lot of unrigable talk... if it was rigged, this is exactly how they would've rigged it. Exactly how they'd rig it. Exactly... you can pick and choose Max... that shit's fucking rigged and I fucking hate it and there should be an investigation.
LeBron James will opt out of his contract and finish his career in Cleveland
I'll say this PFT, LeBron, he's gonna opt out. He's gonna opt out. Could he, could he end his career in Cleveland? Could he fix everything? Well, no, he, he might opt out to take less money, but that would be fun if he did the opt out And we had like a day or two of being like, calves coming home one last time.
The Detroit Tigers will win the American League
I'll say this right now. I think the Detroit Tigers are gonna win The AL. I don't know if they can win the World Series. There's some good teams in the NL... in the last month, it's like [Javi Baez] recaptured something and, and, and come back to the world as, as what the electrifying Javi Baez was.
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View profileThe goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible
What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.
The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer
People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.
We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay
My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.