The 2017 Capitals are a different team and will get past the Penguins

This is our year. The Capitals, it's a different team. Everyone knows it.

I am more confident than ever that the Capitals will beat the Penguins

I'm more confident than i've ever been going into this [series]. We just beat a bunch of yahoos that dump gravy and cheese all over their fries. We can beat a city that puts it in their sandwiches.

The NBA first round this year has been far superior to the NHL first round

The NBA first round this year has been far superior to the NHL first round. I know there's been a lot of overtime games, but like you said, there's no Game 7s. And the NBA feels like... last year was really bad. This year, there have been some really compelling stories, and we have a lot of fights going on.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.