Driving under the influence on a Tuesday night is morally worse than doing it on a weekend

Is that really worse, to be driving under the influence on a Tuesday night? I think that it is, by the way.

Tiger Woods' low bar to be 'back' only requires him to swing a club once without pain

Tiger has the lowest bar to be quote-unquote back. All he has to do is swing one golf club once without keeling over in pain, and all the Tiger fanboys will come running and be like, Tiger at the Masters... red shirt.

Golf is only interesting when Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson are competing on Sunday

golf is a better sport when tiger's competing on sunday... the ratings were all down... we need Phil or Tiger. Basically, we're going to be saying that forever... I guess just like Spieth and Rory and those, they don't do it for me.

The Cavaliers-Knicks series is over after Game 1

Series over, you can't lose that game if you're the Cavs. When it went into overtime, we said the Cavs have to win this. This is must win. You can't give this up. All time choke.

The Knicks are going to the NBA Finals

Memes, Zac, congratulations. Game one. I'm gonna say it. You guys are in the NBA finals. Congrats. I'm not even trolling.

Victor Wembanyama is the best watch in the NBA right now

[Wembanyama] is the best watch in the NBA right now. It's not even close... just his entire performance leaving it like, he was so gassed that three that looked like we were talking about it, it looked like it was almost like there was a whistle beforehand because it was like in slow motion. It was just incredible.