The eyeball test tells me that DK Metcalf is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass

DK Metcalf is the fastest human being alive... [PFT: He's very fast but he's not faster than Usain Bolt]. I think he might be. The eyeball test tells me that DK is the fastest human being to ever step foot on grass. It's terrifying how fast he is.

The Seahawks are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now because no matter the situation, things are going to get weird

The Seahawks are just insane... they are the pinnacle team in the NFL right now where no matter what the situation is, you're like, 'It's gonna get weird.' If they're up by ten, shit's going to get weird. They're down by 10, shit's going to get weird.

The Falcons genuinely invent new ways to lose a football game every single week

We have joked that the Falcons invent new ways to lose every single week. It is not a joke. The fact that they lost the game by Todd Gurley his momentum taking him into the end zone... It is incredible that they lost that way. If Todd Gurley just goes down, they win that game.

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.