Jadeveon Clowney is no longer a good football player

Like Jadeveon Clowney in college, I was like, that guy's not going to be good at the next level because he wears number two. I was right. He's not good anymore.

Kliff Kingsbury is a 'mimbo' who doesn't understand late-game clock management

It was more of a, I think we're right that Kliff Kingsbury's kind of a mimbo. I don't really understand what Kliff Kingsbury was doing at the end of the game. I don't know why they were throwing to the end zone three times in a row when all they needed was to just keep moving.

Anyone who tries to fight DK Metcalf should be suspended for their own safety

If you try to fight DK Metcalf, you should be suspended just for your own health. Because you need to get your brain examined at that point. [Metcalf] is a scary big dude who's very, very muscular.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.