John Elway falls in love with any quarterback he sees in person
I think John Elway's problem is that he just loves every quarterback. As a former quarterback, he will love you if he sees you, where if you wear a football, if you throw a football in front of him, he's like, I'm in love with this guy. He's awesome.
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View episodeMeek Mill going to prison was actually great PR because it made everyone forget that Drake murdered him in a rap beef
I think this is great PR for Meek Mill. I think he's totally, like, everyone's forgotten about [the Drake beef]. ... Now he's a hero.
I'm officially canceling Russell Westbrook
I've canceled Russell Westbrook. He's canceled. He's done. I, white girl, can't even with him anymore. Dude, you know how lame you have to be to get owned by Mitt Romney? I mean, and Mitt Romney owned him. He showed him how many fouls he had.
The Thunder are trash and are not legitimate competitors
I'm done with anyone talking about the Thunder. I said this pre-playoffs. I called this. I said they are trash, and I do not want to hear about the Thunder being any kind of, like, even close to a competitor.
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View profileThe goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible
What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.
The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer
People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.
We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay
My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.