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Johnny Manziel needs to get sued or arrested every few months just to let us know he's alive

Johnny Manziel is being sued because apparently he broke some bartender's nose. Good to know Johnny Manziel is still alive. We need him to get sued or arrested every few months to let us know that he's alive.

This is a humorous commentary on celebrity news cycles.

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Win
Nov 30, 2016
#3523
Big CatBig Cat

Tiger Woods fanboys are delusional if they think the old Tiger is coming back

I just can't stand the Tiger fanboys that think old Tiger's coming back. He said it's phase two, which is nice. He leaves out the point that Phase 1 stopped after he became addicted to working out with Navy SEALs, cheated on his wife, crashed into a fire hydrant and hurt his back a million times.

Tiger didn't win another major until 2019 and never returned to his early 2000s level of dominance, though he did have a late-career resurgence.
Void
Nov 30, 2016
#3524
Big CatBig Cat

Al Horford should not have missed a game for the birth of his child because basketball is forever

Al Horford skipped a game to be with his wife who is having a kid. But come on, man. They could have lost. It's a kid. Kids come and go. Basketball is forever.

This is a subjective value judgment delivered as satire.
Void
Nov 30, 2016
#26991
Big CatBig Cat

Al Horford should have just blamed his move to Boston instead of his kid for missing a game.

Don't blame it on the kid. Don't blame it on the pregnancy. Just say, hey, guess what, guys? Moving sucks. And everyone will be like, yeah, you know what? You're right.

Subjective comedic take.

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France is unstoppable in the 2026 World Cup

When we first got the bracket, I said I was gonna go chalk and just bet on France. They just seem like there's nothing that you can do to stop him. France looks unstoppable.

The 2026 World Cup final is likely still pending or just occurring around the episode date.
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Big CatBig Cat

The toxicity towards Christian Pulisic proves America is finally a real soccer country

I think with the amount of vitriol that has gone towards Christian Pulisic, we have shown for the first time we might be a real soccer country because that actually, it's nuts how he's gotten bashed by everyone. The fact that it's gotten so toxic towards this one guy, it's like, oh shit. Maybe we could become a country that people cared that much about it.

This is a subjective cultural take on fandom.
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Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers for the third time

Pardon My Take... July 10th. We are the first to report that LeBron James is going back to Cleveland... LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier yet again for the third time in his career.

LeBron's 2026 team choice is pending the actual offseason events of that year.