Patrick Mahomes will be the best quarterback of all time

Mahomes is probably going to be the best quarterback of all time and that's like, you don't get to pick where you're drafted for sure. Then just decides like, Hey, I'm going to be the best of all time. Oh, cool. Just runs up the score every week.

Zach Wilson will win a Super Bowl for the Jets

I was watching the highlights again today and I was like, Zach Wilson wins the Super Bowl for the Jets. I'm going to convert to Mormonism.

Big Ben is officially my number one quarterback in the AFC North

I would have this [Big Ben] as my number one quarterback in the division. This [Ben] that we saw from the last week.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.