Andrew Luck is never actually going to throw an NFL football again

Andrew Luck is proving our theory of that arrow paradox, the Schrodinger's arrow. He's never going to actually throw a football. He's just getting incrementally closer and closer and closer to throwing NFL football.

The XFL should brand itself as the league for quarterbacks with small hands

The XFL should brand itself as the football league for all the guys who have too small hands... XFL Super Bowl champion Alex Smith. XFL Super Bowl champion Jameis Winston.

LeBron James will not sign with the Houston Rockets because he hates the city

Houston is my hot seat because the word on the street from, directly from LeBron James' lips. During the season when they were in Houston, he hates Houston as a city... The strip malls? The congestion? When you pull up Google Maps and it's just a ring of red... I believe that he hates Houston. I'm taking them off. We're officially taking them off the Pardon My Take big board for LeBron.

The Kawhi Leonard era with the Clippers was an absolute failure

The Clippers Kawhi era is maybe the most unforgettable or or forgettable, I'm sorry, era of all time. Like they did nothing. Just an absolute tease.

France is playing the World Cup on 'easy mode' and looks unstoppable

France is just playing on easy mode. Like they're not even trying and they're just dummying people... France could have played with nine guys and they probably would've won that game.

Cristiano Ronaldo is an absolute bum

But yeah, Ronaldo's, I mean, he's an absolute bum. I think we can all agree, right? Zach?