The Washington Nationals are a wagon

The Nationals are a wagon. Especially, I saw this fact earlier, when they're wearing those blue... color rush uniforms, they're 20-1.

Bryce Harper should get a World Series ring if the Nationals win one

Bryce Harper should get a World Series ring if we win one. He got this whole thing started. He said, 'I'm here to bring a title back to D.C.' Bryce Harper, we're doing it for you.

The NFL should eliminate replay and HD cameras because they make officiating problems more obvious

My idea is they should just get rid of replay... I think that cameras, especially HD cameras, are making a big problem for viewers because it's great to see that we just either got screwed or won our bets in slow-mo. If they made the cameras worse, then just get rid of HD on replay. I don't need to see every blade of grass.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.