The 2016 Pittsburgh Penguins are the softest and worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup

Congrats to Pittsburgh, right? They are probably the softest team to ever win a Stanley Cup... I think that this Pittsburgh Penguin team is probably the worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup. And we don't even know if they won it. That's how bad they are, that we have no confidence that they're going to win.

The Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy in sports and every trophy should be drinkable

Every time the Stanley Cup champion is crowned, it reminds me that it is the greatest trophy in all of sports, and it's not even close. Every single trophy you should be able to drink out of.

Phil Kessel will celebrate a Stanley Cup win by eating whatever he wants all summer, possibly filling the Cup with queso or hot dog water

Phil Kessel, though, you think he eats now. If he's a Stanley Cup champion, you can eat whatever you want for the rest of the summer... I wouldn't be shocked if that was a story that came out in a couple months or, like I said, just some hot dogs. Like some good old hot dog water and some boiled hot dogs.

The Brewers have the World Series sealed

I think the Brewers have this thing sealed up after an insane Monday night where they were just awesome.

There will be no MLB lockout

They'll figure it out. There's too much at stake. They'll figure it out. It's not 1994 anymore. They'll figure it out.

A 24-team College Football Playoff is starting to make sense

I'm starting to grow on it. My problem is, I'm thinking about it in just this year where we actually had parity.