Theme parks and water parks use black sidewalks to dehydrate guests and increase concession sales

Have you ever noticed how theme parks and water parks always have black sidewalks? Yeah, to make you more thirsty so you buy more concessions. Yeah, stay woke. That's like pretzels at a bar.

If you get arrested, you should drop the name of a mid-level officer rather than the President

If you get arrested, you want to drop a name. It's kind of the inverse of what you think it should be. You want to drop the smallest name possible that the guy would recognize. Like you want to drop the name of his slightly superior officer. You don't want to go straight to the top with the president.

The Simpsons is the best cartoon show of all time

Number one, no-brainer, Simpsons. Best cartoon show of all time. Even though there were only like seven or eight awesome seasons of it, those seven or eight seasons were good enough to justify like 50 years of shit.

France is unstoppable in the 2026 World Cup

When we first got the bracket, I said I was gonna go chalk and just bet on France. They just seem like there's nothing that you can do to stop him. France looks unstoppable.

The toxicity towards Christian Pulisic proves America is finally a real soccer country

I think with the amount of vitriol that has gone towards Christian Pulisic, we have shown for the first time we might be a real soccer country because that actually, it's nuts how he's gotten bashed by everyone. The fact that it's gotten so toxic towards this one guy, it's like, oh shit. Maybe we could become a country that people cared that much about it.

LeBron James is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers for the third time

Pardon My Take... July 10th. We are the first to report that LeBron James is going back to Cleveland... LeBron James is a Cleveland Cavalier yet again for the third time in his career.