Theme parks and water parks use black sidewalks to dehydrate guests and increase concession sales

Have you ever noticed how theme parks and water parks always have black sidewalks? Yeah, to make you more thirsty so you buy more concessions. Yeah, stay woke. That's like pretzels at a bar.

If you get arrested, you should drop the name of a mid-level officer rather than the President

If you get arrested, you want to drop a name. It's kind of the inverse of what you think it should be. You want to drop the smallest name possible that the guy would recognize. Like you want to drop the name of his slightly superior officer. You don't want to go straight to the top with the president.

The Simpsons is the best cartoon show of all time

Number one, no-brainer, Simpsons. Best cartoon show of all time. Even though there were only like seven or eight awesome seasons of it, those seven or eight seasons were good enough to justify like 50 years of shit.

Spain is entering a period of absolute soccer dominance and will win the next Euro.

They won the Euro two years ago. They won the World Cup. They're probably gonna win the Euro in two years. They're just different generation dominating soccer.

Goals scored in the World Cup third-place game should not count toward the Golden Boot.

I also had one bone to pick. The third place game, which is hilarious that they still do this... The fact that those goals count for the Golden Boot is such bullshit. That's stupid. That should not count. Like that's not a real game.

LeBron James will announce his free agency decision tonight.

I'm fully expecting him to announce at 9:00 PM tonight. Yep. Like shit like that where it's like, I went to a movie on Thursday night. I was like, oh, LeBron's gonna fucking announce during the movie. He's, he's now fucking us... I think that's what's gonna happen. I think he's gonna decide tonight.