Rob Corddry, 10X Pro Bowler Joe Thomas + Mt Rushmore Of Cartoon Shows

If you get arrested, you should drop the name of a mid-level officer rather than the President

If you get arrested, you want to drop a name. It's kind of the inverse of what you think it should be. You want to drop the smallest name possible that the guy would recognize. Like you want to drop the name of his slightly superior officer. You don't want to go straight to the top with the president.

Ohio State fans should have learned not to hold rallies before the facts are out from the Penn State / Joe Paterno situation

I feel like we should have learned our lesson with the Joe Paterno rallies. Maybe wait until we figure everything out before you do like an entire impromptu rally at the stadium being like Free Urban Meyer. I can't really wrap my head around these people because I would assume these are the same people that if you bash Urban Meyer on Twitter, they will reply with, wait till all the facts come out. But then they also held an entire rally with none of the facts out.

The Simpsons is the best cartoon show of all time

Number one, no-brainer, Simpsons. Best cartoon show of all time. Even though there were only like seven or eight awesome seasons of it, those seven or eight seasons were good enough to justify like 50 years of shit.

Rick Pitino will not survive Twitter

Rick Pitino even plans to start a Twitter account. Rick Pitino, listen to me right now. Do not create a Twitter account. You are not going to survive Twitter.com. This is not going to work, Rick. He is going to hate it.

The Rock is exactly as great as you imagine him to be

He's great, man. He's everything you imagine and want him to be. It's very satisfying. He often gets himself into pickles just like we do, but he's like such a magnetic dude that he'll get himself out of it easier than we can.

Chevy Chase ruined the reputation of comedy sets for everyone

I think comedy shows have that reputation [of being competitive or mean] because of Saturday Night Live. Chevy Chase ruined it for everyone. Chevy Chase was such a colossal dickhead. He ruined everything. Everything since then, everyone's like, oh, you have to be a dickhead to be in this show business.

Bob Wiley will be the breakout star of Hard Knocks with the Browns

If I had to guess, [Bob Wiley] is the guy, in my opinion, that's the most interesting. He's the most funny, gregarious. He's the most seasoned coach on that staff. He kind of looks a little bit like a walrus. And he's just the nicest guy with the most funny jokes. I think people are going to fall in love with him.

Hue Jackson will be the face of Hard Knocks because players love him and he has a boatload of personality

I think outside of Bob Wiley, I think Hue Jackson will probably be that next guy that becomes the face of the Browns Hard Knocks because he's got a lot of personality. He loves talking off the cuff. He's very passionate. He really loves his players, and he shows it. Players love him.

No ugly quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl

I was on the radio with recurring guest Fred Smoot today... we were talking about who's going to win the MVP this year, and he came out with an awesome take. He said that no ugly quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl. I think it's a trick question because once you win a Super Bowl, you become attractive. You get the glow up.

Tom Brady won his first three Super Bowls before he had his 'glow-up'

Even Tom Brady won the majority of his Super Bowls before the glow-up. He won three Super Bowls before he had the glow-up. He definitely looks a lot different than he did. He's gotten hotter with age.

I am going to die during the summer because I can no longer handle the heat

I realized something today. I'm going to be one of those people that dies in the summer because I just can't take the heat anymore. I fucking hate the summer. I'm done with the summer. I've just realized that I'm going to be probably in my 50s or 60s and it will be one of those situations where I'm mowing the lawn... and then I'm just going to die.