I want to be replaced by a parrot if I die in Cleveland

If I do die in Cleveland... I want a parrot... play old episodes of Pardon My Take for the parrot... put it in front of a microphone and you talk to it and it'll just basically do the same shitty takes that we've done for the past three months. Nobody will even know that it's not me anymore.

Phil Mickelson choked away another major championship

Anytime you got Phil [Mickelson] finishing in second, the storyline is Phil Mickelson choked away another one. Let's focus where it needs to be because it's always fun to make fun of Phil for being always the bridesmaid, never the bride guy.

Rory McIlroy's tight shirts and muscle mass are hurting his golf game

I think it's probably the most correct take I've ever heard dude you ever hear of popcorn muscles yeah that's what [Rory McIlroy] has got. And if you think about a golf swing actually wearing a really tight shirt probably has some effect on it right?

Victor Wembanyama is already better than LeBron James

I'm gonna enjoy him because he's, he's like, I I said on Wednesday's show, he is, he's already better than LeBron. So I, that's how I'm gonna enjoy him.

People only hate on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander's flopping because his play style is fundamentally boring

I actually think the problem with SGA more than anything is he's just boring. That's really what people are upset about. The flopping like sucks. But... more than anything he's just, he's boring because he is a lethal mid-range guy. He doesn't have flashy dunks. He's not doing... He's just methodically an exceptional basketball player.

The Cavaliers-Knicks series is over after Game 1

Series over, you can't lose that game if you're the Cavs. When it went into overtime, we said the Cavs have to win this. This is must win. You can't give this up. All time choke.