Without Harambe getting shot, Pardon My Take might not exist

Without that fucking gorilla getting shot, I don't know if I'd be sitting next to you right now, Big Cat. One of the seminal moments of Pardon My Take — getting sued by ESPN, Adam Morrison's bunker, and then the summer of Harambe.

The ironic resurgence of Harambe is due for a comeback

I think we actually are getting close to having it [Harambe] be funny again. The resurgence. Because it was very funny for that summer. Then it was like very lame. But now enough time has passed where if you just drop a Harambe, it's like, oh, that's actually kind of funny. The ironic resurgence of Harambe is due.

The Lakers will win their series against the Suns

The Lakers are up 2-1. They're going to win this series. The Suns, I feel bad for them. I don't know how the Lakers don't come out of the West.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.