Bill Belichick is the type of coach who would cut off his dick one year too early rather than one year too late.

Belichick's the kind of guy who would cut off his dick one year too early instead of one year too late. That's why he's won all those titles. Vrabel is chasing a ghost.

I'm challenging the Bagel Boss guy to a fist fight at Rough N' Rowdy.

I'm challenging him to a fist fight. So I'm trying to track him down. I'm officially challenging him to Rough N' Rowdy if I can find this guy. I would defeat him easily.

Jay Williams claiming Duke could beat the Cavs was his 'arrival moment' in the hot take industry.

The saying, 'Duke can beat the Cavs,' is like Jay Williams' arrival moment. He's just letting everyone know, hey, I'm here now to just spew some bullshit out here. I'm for real.

Travis Hunter Should Win the Heisman

We should probably bet Travis Hunter for Heisman, because he almost flipped this game himself.

The Browns' Plan Is to Drown You Late

Their game plan is thus: drag you into deep water and then have Deshaun Watson in the fourth quarter drown you. That's what they do.

The Colts Need to Blow Everything Up

If you're a Colts fan, you have to demand for everything to change. You can't be like, it's because of Daniel Jones' Achilles. You've gotta just blow the whole thing up. It's like none of it works.