The 2019 Takies With Blake Griffin, Brooks Koepka, Blake Bortles, And Many More Celebrities

Bill Belichick is the type of coach who would cut off his dick one year too early rather than one year too late.

Belichick's the kind of guy who would cut off his dick one year too early instead of one year too late. That's why he's won all those titles. [Mike] Vrabel is chasing a ghost.

Meryl Streep is a 'bad bitch' who deserves respect.

Meryl Streep, such a bad bitch, I'm starting to respect her.

Jay Williams claiming Duke could beat the Cavs was his 'arrival moment' in the hot take industry.

The saying, 'Duke can beat the Cavs,' is like Jay Williams' arrival moment. He's just letting everyone know, hey, I'm here now to just spew some bullshit out here. I'm for real.

Zion Williamson is one bad weekend in Vegas away from becoming 'real chonk'.

I've said he's [Zion] one bad weekend in Vegas away from real chonk.

Zion Williamson is the rare Duke player that everyone will root for.

Zion is like the rare dude from Duke that everyone is going to root for.

Zion Williamson would actually play worse if he lost weight.

I think [Zion Williamson] would actually get worse if he lost weight. There's something about his body. He's got power that he can just jump into. It doesn't look as much like an offensive foul if a fat guy runs into you as opposed to like a big jacked up dude.

Russell Westbrook and James Harden will fight over having only one ball in Houston.

There's only one ball, and I'm excited for Russell Westbrook and James Harden to fight over that ball.

Chris Paul essentially has to retire now after being traded to the Thunder.

I actually think Chris Paul has to retire now, right? ... [He'll] get traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder for basically a guy who will hold the ball even more in Russell Westbrook.

Anytime a sports front office says a relationship is 'fine' and reports are false, they are lying.

Anytime, and this counts for coaching, front office, whatever it may be, anytime someone says our relationship is fine and these media reports are false, they are lying. They are always lying, and it always ends up being a trade. The fact that the Houston Rockets tried to convince everyone that James Harden and Chris Paul didn't hate each other's guts is absolutely laughable.

Winning 'Blake of the Year' makes a career's worth of naysayers and haters worth it.

I'd like to thank my family for believing me this whole time. Obviously, there's been a lot of ups and downs and a lot of naysayers, a lot of haters, but somehow we made it here. I'm at a loss for words. ... At the end of the day, it's worth it.