Stetson Bennett is a future Hall of Famer

First, right off the top. Stetson Bennett, future Hall of Famer. Yeah. He looks good.

Justin Fields is officially 'the guy' and I am hate-bookmarking all slander against him

I am at the point now where there's a line in the sand. Is he the guy? Justin Fields is the guy. I've started hate bookmarking Justin Fields slander to come back to it later. He could play a perfect game and people would still nitpick him. Three for three, 129 yards, two touchdowns. The Bears look fucking awesome.

The female orgasm is a myth created by 'Big Orgasm'

The female orgasm. Not real. Big orgasm has been lying to you guys. Girls don't come. They just do it because they like to make us feel bad for coming too quick. Exactly... let's be honest, let's get real honest here. That shit's not real.

Michigan was definitively the better team in the National Championship and it never felt like UConn was in danger of winning.

Michigan was the better team. We all saw it. It never felt like [the game] was in danger. Like the only moment that I was like, oh, UConn might have a chance, was when there was like maybe five and a half minutes left and Mullens missed that three to cut it to four.

Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot

They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.

Danny Hurley is 18-1 against the spread in his last four NCAA tournaments, which is insane

Danny Hurley remains 18 and one in the last four tournaments against the spread. How insane is that? Furman is the only one that they didn't cover. That was the first round this year.