The fire drill is the best 'The Office' cold open

Number one is I think the fire that Dwight starts... the fire wall on them that was after a Super Bowl too if I remember correctly.

A 2020 World Series title for the Mets would deserve four asterisks

Mets huge huge asterisks for four asterisks for what if they win the World Series.

If the Browns win the Super Bowl with no fans, it has an asterisk

If there's no fans in the stadium for the entire NFL season and the Browns win the Super bowl, of course as a Browns fan you're going to take it no matter what but still, you know, people will be like well, then let's play in front of any road games.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.