Eric Andre, Jay Cutler, Fyre Fest Of The Week, And Magnetic The Documentary

The fire drill is the best 'The Office' cold open

Number one is I think the fire that Dwight starts... the fire wall on them that was after a Super Bowl too if I remember correctly.

A 2020 World Series title for the Mets would deserve four asterisks

Mets huge huge asterisks for four asterisks for what if they win the World Series.

If the Browns win the Super Bowl with no fans, it has an asterisk

If there's no fans in the stadium for the entire NFL season and the Browns win the Super bowl, of course as a Browns fan you're going to take it no matter what but still, you know, people will be like well, then let's play in front of any road games.

An NFL season without fans heavily favors the Chargers

any favorite favor of the Chargers big time because all their home games will be less of road games than they were before.

Ted Ginn drops open passes because he is too fast for his own good

Ted Ginn actually is a victim of his own success like the reason why he drops open passes. He's so fast. He gets open true and begin a little slower dude, because he's just been around for forever.

You can treat scabies by buying horse medicine (Ivermectin) at a tractor supply store

you just go to the Tractor Supply store and get Ivermectin if you think you have scabies... you get it like a tractor supply store because you get the horses. If you can't get from your doctor, they sell it in big tubes like toothpaste.

A great prank should cram absurdity into reality without being mean

a prank is about cramming absurdity into reality and distorting the truth until you like short circuit somebody's brain you want you want somebody to be pinwheeling. You don't want them like you're not I'm not trying to ruin somebody's Day Ever.

An owl or a raccoon is the likely culprit in the chicken massacre

I'm saying Al [Owl] or raccoon... trash pandas raccoons rip the heads off.

The new Rangers stadium looks like a cheap Home Depot shed

it looks like a cheap shed that you buy at Home Depot to like keep your garbage cans so that the raccoons don't get it... it looks like a toolbox that you would see in the back of your most sunburned neighbors truck.

I could kitesurf right now by just letting the wind do the work

I don't think windsurfing is at heart I said for those I don't think it's nice I just fucking hang on I said right here I think I could kitesurf yeah just let the wind do all the while I watch it I was like dude all you gotta do is listen up and then bring you down.