PMT DB
PMT DB
Eric Andre on Legalize Everything, Jay Cutler’s Chicken Mystery, and Magnetic
Friday vibes are at an all-time high in the studio as the guys prepare for a weekend of zero sports and maximum chaos. Big Cat kicks things off by brainstorming a definitive ranking of the best cold opens from *The Office*, which naturally leads to a debate about which ones actually hold up. While the parkour and the bat incidents are in the mix, there is a clear frontrunner for the crown.
Big CatThe fire drill is the best 'The Office' cold open
Number one is I think the fire that Dwight starts... the fire wall on them that was after a Super Bowl too if I remember correctly.
With baseball finally inching toward a return, the conversation shifts to the legitimacy of a shortened 60-game season. PFT and Big Cat are already handing out asterisks like candy, specifically targeting teams that might benefit from a sprint rather than a marathon. If the Mets manage to pull it off, the record books are going to need some extra footnotes.
PFT CommenterA 2020 World Series title for the Mets would deserve four asterisks
Mets huge huge asterisks for four asterisks for what if they win the World Series.
They aren't just picking on baseball, either. Big Cat is already preparing himself for the potential heartbreak of the Browns finally winning a Super Bowl during a year when no fans are allowed in the stands.
Big CatIf the Browns win the Super Bowl with no fans, it has an asterisk
If there's no fans in the stadium for the entire NFL season and the Browns win the Super bowl, of course as a Browns fan you're going to take it no matter what but still, you know, people will be like well, then let's play in front of any road games.
Fyre Fest of the week takes a dark turn when Billy Football admits he spent his week self-diagnosing a case of scabies. Instead of seeing a doctor like a normal human being, Billy went full DIY with his medical care, suggesting that the local farm supply store holds the cure for what ails you.
Billy FootballYou can treat scabies by buying horse medicine (Ivermectin) at a tractor supply store
The drug that you're going to want to ask for... I took some Ivermectin. You get it at like a Tractor Supply store because you get the horses [version]. If you think you have scabies, they sell it in big tubes like toothpaste. You just got to make sure the dosage is right—it's like one milligram for every 20 pounds.
Comedian Eric Andre joins the show to discuss his new Netflix special, *Legalize Everything*, and his legendary Adult Swim series. The interview is pure Eric Andre energy, featuring a delivery from a courier mid-podcast and a deep dive into Eric’s personal bar cart. He explains his philosophy on pranks and why the best bits aren't about being a jerk, but about breaking the reality of everyone involved.
Eric AndreA great prank should cram absurdity into reality without being mean
a prank is about cramming absurdity into reality and distorting the truth until you like short circuit somebody's brain you want you want somebody to be pinwheeling. You don't want them like you're not I'm not trying to ruin somebody's Day Ever.
Next up, friend of the program Jay Cutler calls in to address the "Chicken Massacre" that has been captivated his Instagram followers. Jay walks the guys through the grizzly scene in his backyard and his quest to exonerate his cat, Thelma. After a long night of investigation, Jay has narrowed down the suspects to a few woodland creatures.
Jay CutlerAn owl or a raccoon is the likely culprit in the chicken massacre
I'm saying Al [Owl] or raccoon... trash pandas raccoons rip the heads off.
Before heading out, the guys debut a new segment: the Stadium Roast. The target is the new home of the Texas Rangers, which looks less like a billion-dollar professional sports venue and more like something you'd find in a suburban backyard. Big Cat didn't hold back on the architectural choices.
Big CatThe new Rangers stadium looks like a cheap Home Depot shed
it looks like a cheap shed that you buy at Home Depot to like keep your garbage cans so that the raccoons don't get it... it looks like a toolbox that you would see in the back of your most sunburned neighbors truck.
To close it out, the guys review the extreme sports documentary *Magnetic*. While PFT is convinced he could master kitesurfing with zero training just by letting the wind do the work, Big Cat admits that the footage of 80-foot waves and Pakistani mountain peaks is far beyond his comfort zone.
Big CatI would commit murder before I ever attempted to surf an 80-foot wave
Everything in the documentary [Magnetic] was something I would never in a million years do. I would murder someone before I surfed a 70-foot wave. Yeah, I would murder someone before I skied on a mountain that's never been touched by human feet in Pakistan.
Don't let the adrenaline fools you, these athletes aren't that different from the people you see on your explore page.
PFT CommenterExtreme athletes are just Instagram models who get an adrenaline buzz instead of likes
There's no difference between these [extreme athletes] and Instagram models that go to famous locations and take pictures of themselves. These guys just get a sick buzz when they do it. They get a nice little stoke whenever they go down the mountain.
Good luck to Jay and Old Blue as they head into the treehouse tonight with the night vision goggles.
