The Rams are officially the team to beat in the NFL

I feel so proud of our friend Jared Goff, and the Rams are officially the team to beat. Circle them, put them on the pedestal. They are a fucking juggernaut.

All signs are pointing to a Jared Goff vs. Blake Bortles Super Bowl

All signs are pointing to a Jared Goff-Blake Bortles Super Bowl right now. We're going to have to be in attendance wearing the jersey that Brady Quinn's sister used to wear when Quinn played against A.J. Hawk.

The Eagles' offense is not good right now

Offensively, I don't think they're good... they've got Carson Wentz playing on one leg. I don't think he's ready to come back yet. It's the old Robert Griffin all in for week one.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.