If you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead an NFL team

I'd like to see them do the combine in the nude... make them jerk off into a cup, test their swimmers out. If you're a quarterback, if you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead a team.

Mitch Trubisky screwed himself by measuring 6'2" because of Hue Jackson's arbitrary height cutoff

Hugh Jackson, his cutoff for quarterbacks, 6'2". So Mitch Trubisky kind of screwed himself. He should have slouched a little bit, hoping that he went at 6'1"... [Hue] just said, if the quarterback's not 6'2 or taller, I don't want him.

Patrick Mahomes' small hands are a reason not to pick him in the draft

I also saw that Mahomes had small hands, so be careful of that. Don't worry about the fact that he played in a Kliff Kingsbury offense, and it was an air raid... His hands, a little undersized. That's why you shouldn't pick them. I actually like him. I think he actually would be good for them.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Norway throwing a parade for a World Cup loss is 'loser energy'

Norway is, but I think it was more just people being like, oh, this is, this is what's wrong with players today... this all falls apart when you see the, the parade that they threw for the players in Norway. Right. Which is, I I see it as loser energy just because it's like you're basically saying this is the best it will ever get.