Statcast measurements for home run distances are a lie

Stack Cast said [the Aaron Judge home run went] like 473. I don't believe that for a second. ... When they say like 373 feet on their like internal measurement system, there's no way that was only 373 feet, right? No, I don't believe any of that.

The Blue Jays are the only team with the mental criteria to beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I ran a mental simulation last night to, 'cause I was pissed off. 'cause it seems like the Dodgers were gonna win the World Series and there's nothing anybody else could do about it. I did 2000 mental simulations. I was laying in bed envisioning a team that I could picture beating the Dodgers in the World Series. And the only team that fits my mental criteria is the Blue Jays.

MLB is rigging playoff games and juicing baseballs to extend series

If the Yankees had got swept, it's in like MLB needs to do something territory. Someone's, you know, someone's gotta extend a series. ... I'm saying like MLB is gonna rig games to advance the series. ... when the Brewers and Dodgers are pitching, they'd give him the, the juiced ones.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.