I am betting the Lions money line against the Chiefs in Week 1

I'm going Lions money line... I this is gonna be a coming out party of the Lions. We're all betting the Lions on Thursday, which is a terrible, terrible thing for the Lions. All due respect past me was a shithead... but we're all betting it.

I will never bet on the Los Angeles Chargers again

So here's one thing that I will trust. Pass me on. Do not believe the c words. Do not believe their lies. Right. I am not going, if I'm gonna move off the Chiefs, I'm not going to the team in Los Angeles. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm betting Commanders minus 7 against the Cardinals in Week 1

Commanders minus seven. Can I just say that? Will you allow me to take Commanders minus seven?... This, this is my makeup for Texas Tech. I'm doubling down. Commies or bust.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.