Golf needs an asshole like Patrick Reed

I love Patrick Reed. I do love this man. He is a basic bitch. He's a man baby. On the golf course. He's a man baby. He's amazing. Yes, he's an asshole, but golf needs an asshole.

The Masters course was 'on PEDs' because of painted roots and soft conditions

You could see the green spray paint on the bottom of the tree on the root system. So it looks like we were a little bit woke on that. The course is on PEDs. The course didn't show up this weekend... The course choked.

Ricky Fowler cannot win a major wearing a 'candy-ass' uniform on Sunday

I also feel bad for Sergio... I mean, we've long stood, you know, the Miami Dolphins, the Oregon Ducks. Teams that wear candy-ass uniforms in big-time moments, they just aren't as intimidating. And Ricky went with the creamsicle today, and I like Ricky. But I'm thinking maybe on Sundays in the majors, he needs to tone it down a little. You can wear the candy-ass uniforms after you bring home a title.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.