There is no point in having children in 2016 unless you can get retweets out of them
There's no reason to have kids in 2016 unless you can get some retweets out of them. Kids, when you get down to it, if they're not making content for you, like why did you even have sex? ... If you have a child that's not cute enough to cry on camera for retweets, what's even the point of having the kid?
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View episodeI would have 'Pete Rose'd' the hot dog contest and thrown it if I could have bet on my own under in Las Vegas
I actually made some texts. I was hoping that somehow it ended up on a real sports book in Vegas. We could have put some real money down, and I would have Pete Rose the hell out of that tournament. But alas, you could only win about like 200 bucks on prop bets. So I had to give it my all.
I will never compete in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest again
I've survived to tell my tale. I'll never do it again. But it was a great experience to have.
Kevin Durant might not improve the Warriors because there are too many cooks in the kitchen
I'm actually going to go out on a limb and say that Kevin Durant might not really improve the Warriors that much. Yeah, he's a really good player... You got a lot of cooks in the kitchen now. You need some role players.
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View profileMichigan was definitively the better team in the National Championship and it never felt like UConn was in danger of winning.
Michigan was the better team. We all saw it. It never felt like [the game] was in danger. Like the only moment that I was like, oh, UConn might have a chance, was when there was like maybe five and a half minutes left and Mullens missed that three to cut it to four.
Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot
They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.
Danny Hurley is 18-1 against the spread in his last four NCAA tournaments, which is insane
Danny Hurley remains 18 and one in the last four tournaments against the spread. How insane is that? Furman is the only one that they didn't cover. That was the first round this year.