There is no point in having children in 2016 unless you can get retweets out of them
There's no reason to have kids in 2016 unless you can get some retweets out of them. Kids, when you get down to it, if they're not making content for you, like why did you even have sex? ... If you have a child that's not cute enough to cry on camera for retweets, what's even the point of having the kid?
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I actually made some texts. I was hoping that somehow it ended up on a real sports book in Vegas. We could have put some real money down, and I would have Pete Rose the hell out of that tournament. But alas, you could only win about like 200 bucks on prop bets. So I had to give it my all.
I will never compete in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest again
I've survived to tell my tale. I'll never do it again. But it was a great experience to have.
Kevin Durant might not improve the Warriors because there are too many cooks in the kitchen
I'm actually going to go out on a limb and say that Kevin Durant might not really improve the Warriors that much. Yeah, he's a really good player... You got a lot of cooks in the kitchen now. You need some role players.
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View profileThe Brewers' pressure created their 'lucky' breaks
That's not luck. That's just the Brewers and what they did to you mentally, where it's like you have to be perfect and almost made teams just become a worse version of themselves because of what the Brewers were doing to them.
The Bears are building around Jeffrey Simmons correctly
Jeffrey Simmons is an absolute game wrecker. Top three at his position, changes everyone around him. The Bears had a weakness in their defense, especially run defense. They made it a strength.
Jeffrey Simmons makes the Bears Super Bowl contenders
I thought they could win the Super Bowl before Jeffrey Simmons. Now I really do.