Tiger Woods intentionally shot over par because a 69 would have triggered his sex addiction

Tiger, as we know, is a sex addict, and we all have triggers when it comes to things. He cannot go out there and shoot a 69. He knew that. He knew that would be a trigger for him. [He would march] right back into a Hooters. It took a lot of mental strength for him to not fall into that trap.

Tiger Woods will never again look like his old self for four straight days at the highest level

Show me Tiger Woods four days in a row at the highest level. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen.

Tiger Woods took a Monster Energy sponsorship because he wants to turn into a 'JV' version of himself

I'd like to see Tiger turn into Cabrera, the guy that smokes on the golf course. I'd like to see Tiger just embrace the new weird, washed up, second rate C plus JV Tiger and just start smoking.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.