Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Tiger Woods intentionally missed the cut at the Open so people would forget how poorly he played

Credit to Tiger being smart enough to just not make the cut so everyone forgets he didn't make the cut and we don't talk about him on Sunday. Like, hey, Tiger really sucked.

Tiger did miss the cut, but the idea it was intentional for PR reasons is satirical.

More from this episode

View episode
Void
Jul 22, 2019
#4741
Big CatBig Cat

J.B. Holmes ruined the Open Championship with his slow play

Fuck J.B. Holmes. Fuck him. Brooks Koepka would have won. He ruined the Open Championship. Ruined it.

While Koepka's frustration was real, it is subjective whether he would have definitely won if J.B. Holmes played faster.
Win
Jul 22, 2019
#4742
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

J.B. Holmes is the slowest golfer ever

Slowest player ever. Very slow. And he shot an 87. So if you're going to be that slow and shoot an 87, that's an issue.

J.B. Holmes is statistically one of the slowest players on the PGA Tour, and shooting 87 is a historically bad round for a major final group.
Push
Jul 22, 2019
#4743
Big CatBig Cat

I don't think Tiger Woods' body can be competitive in every tournament anymore

I just don't know if his body can [compete]. He looked every bit his age and maybe even older on Thursday when he teed off and he did the wince because of his back. And he also did the old guy move... when it rains, he says, my knees hurt.

Tiger struggled significantly with injuries after 2019, though he did win the Zozo Championship in late 2019 before his 2021 car accident.

More from Big Cat

View profile
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.