Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Training yourself to say 'tuckus' instead of 'ass' makes you a giant 'tuckus hole'

Do you know how big of a tuckus hole you need to be to actually do that in college? ...What a fucking tuckus. God I hate, I hate that.

A subjective insult about personality and 'journalism' pretension.

More from this episode

View episode
Void
Dec 2, 2016
#26993
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods intentionally shot over par because a 69 would have triggered his sex addiction

Tiger, as we know, is a sex addict, and we all have triggers when it comes to things. He cannot go out there and shoot a 69. He knew that. He knew that would be a trigger for him. [He would march] right back into a Hooters. It took a lot of mental strength for him to not fall into that trap.

This is a satirical theory that cannot be factually proven, though Tiger did literally shoot one over par (73) instead of a 69.
Push
Dec 2, 2016
#1257
Big CatBig Cat

Tiger Woods will never again look like his old self for four straight days at the highest level

Show me Tiger Woods four days in a row at the highest level. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen.

While Tiger did win the 2019 Masters (a high-level, 4-day performance), for the vast majority of his post-2016 career, injuries prevented him from consistent 4-day dominance.
Loss
Dec 2, 2016
#1258
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods took a Monster Energy sponsorship because he wants to turn into a 'JV' version of himself

I'd like to see Tiger turn into Cabrera, the guy that smokes on the golf course. I'd like to see Tiger just embrace the new weird, washed up, second rate C plus JV Tiger and just start smoking.

Tiger never actually started smoking on the course like Angel Cabrera or John Daly, though he did lean into a different public persona later.

More from Big Cat

View profile
Open
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James will finish his career by returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron's decision is looming. I think it's going to be Cleveland. Do you guys agree? I mean I think he's gotta go to Cleveland. I think that makes the most sense.

The final destination of LeBron in 2026 free agency is pending in this episode's timeline.
Win
Big CatBig Cat

I was wrong — Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are actually dating

I'm going to say I was wrong. I do think they actually are dating now. Don't need the P and V, they got married so I'm going to count it. I'm going to put it on the board.

The wedding was a confirmed public event in the transcript context.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are going to be married forever.

I think they're gonna make it. I think they're gonna be married for a very long time. I think they're married forever. They're gonna be married forever.

The couple just got married in this fictional timeline, so the outcome of their marriage lasting 'forever' remains pending.