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HankHank

I am officially retiring the 'Cocky Hank' persona and replacing 'Championship or Bust' with 'Series or Bust'

After the game one of the Bruins and the Celtics, I made a mistake and I'm here to admit and moving forward say that I will no longer be cocky. I've given up being cocky. ... Championship or bust is no longer. It's just win this series. ... Right now it's just series or bust. And then the next series, if we are lucky enough to advance past this round, we'll be series or bust.

This is an internal policy change for the show's bit.

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Win
Apr 26, 2024
#3228
Big CatBig Cat

Ryan Poles' trade with the Panthers is one of the greatest fleeces in NFL history

Ryan Poles, what he did to the Panthers... I actually feel bad for the Panthers. Like it's, it's, it's gross... DJ Moore, Darnell Wright, Tyrique Stevenson, Caleb Williams and a 2025 second rounder. And they got Bryce Young. Ryan Poles. And now Rome Odunze. David Tepper... Basically every quarterback that's ever put on a Bear's uniform has been not put in the a good situation to succeed. He's doing everything to make sure that Caleb Williams succeeds.

The trade is widely regarded as one of the most lopsided in modern NFL history given the haul of players and picks the Bears received versus Bryce Young's early struggles.
Win
Apr 26, 2024
#22692
Big CatBig Cat

The 2024 NFL Draft set a record with the first 14 picks being offensive players

The first 14 picks were offense. So you didn't get a defensive player until number 15. ... which has never been done. It was insane.

This is a verifiable fact about the 2024 NFL Draft results.
Void
Apr 26, 2024
#3229
Big CatBig Cat

Michael Penix Jr. to the Falcons is a baffling move that makes zero sense

The Atlanta Falcons who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to $180 million deal what like a month and a half ago, selected Michael Penix Jr. with the eighth pick... It makes zero sense to do it. Now if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out. But like when he, is he gonna start? Is he gonna sit for two years? Why you such a high pick for this? It, it just, you could've probably gotten him in the second round.

While Penix could be a future star, the process of paying $180M to Cousins and then using the #8 pick on his successor immediately was universally panned by analysts.

More from Hank

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Void
HankHank

The DMV is the worst line to wait in

DMV. Great pick. That's gotta be one one. Gotta be because it goes out of order too. Yeah. That bullshit. It is. Pick number sucks.

Subjective opinion on waiting in line.
Loss
HankHank

I'm going to win all my bets and get in shape this year

I'll go with, I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah. Really dumb thought. And I'm going to get in shape. These are daily thoughts I have.

The take is satirical and about a recurring 'dumb thought,' but literally, these outcomes rarely happen.
Open
HankHank

Jared Goff will be the next NFL player to record 400 or more passing yards in a game

I'm going to go with the next player to record 400 plus pass yards in a game. I'm taking Jared Goff. They're plus 1100. I don't think it matters what their schedule is. No, not for a guy like Jared Goff.

The 2026 season has not yet concluded.