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HankHank

I would root for Carson Wentz to win Super Bowl MVP because it would be the funniest sports story ever

I would root so hard just, and that's even say, but it would be so funny... because then I could be like, well it's not even Patrick Mahomes, he's a system quarterback. [Big Cat]: What if Patrick Mahomes goes out in the first quarter and then Carson Wentz comes in and sprains both his ankles again and still wins? [Hank]: Oh my God. That would get worse. [Max]: Biggest sports story ever.

This is a subjective opinion about what would be funny.

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Feb 5, 2025
#15892
Big CatBig Cat

I would watch an NFL player flag football tournament in the off-season

If they do it correctly, it would be like a perfect, like, I wanna say May — just do like a three day tournament with all the players. I would watch that for flag football. If it was the NFL players playing, I would watch that.

Loss
Feb 5, 2025
#23642
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL replacing 'End Racism' stencils in the end zone means racism has been officially defeated

We ended racism. No more 'End Racism' in the end zone. It only took four years. 2021 we decided let's do something... we fucking painted that shit in end zones and we did it and we put it on the backs of helmets and now racism's dead. Done. Choose love is also gone. We're choosing hate... calling time out to hate now so that you can get better at hating when you get back.

Racism has not, in fact, been ended by end zone stencils.
Void
Feb 5, 2025
#15893
Big CatBig Cat

Myles Garrett is right to want out of Cleveland to win a Super Bowl

Myles Garrett has requested a trade. Cleveland Browns fans — sucks for them... but also Myles Garrett, he does probably have a few good years left and he wants to win a Super Bowl. He's 29. He's still really fucking good.

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HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
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HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
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HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.