J.J. Watt being healthy is the official sign that football is back

you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about J.J. Watt not being injured... J.J. Watt being like, is this the year that J.J. Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back.

The Hall of Fame game becomes absolute dog shit after the first five minutes

I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. My dumb brain tricks my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game. And then I forget that after the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

The DMV is the worst line to wait in

DMV. Great pick. That's gotta be one one. Gotta be because it goes out of order too. Yeah. That bullshit. It is. Pick number sucks.

I'm going to win all my bets and get in shape this year

I'll go with, I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah. Really dumb thought. And I'm going to get in shape. These are daily thoughts I have.

Jared Goff will be the next NFL player to record 400 or more passing yards in a game

I'm going to go with the next player to record 400 plus pass yards in a game. I'm taking Jared Goff. They're plus 1100. I don't think it matters what their schedule is. No, not for a guy like Jared Goff.