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HankHank

Losing to UNC in Coach K's final game will haunt me for the rest of my life

Whenever I'm happy, whenever anything goes in my life, whenever I'm feeling good or like something Patriots, Celtics, whatever it may be. I just know that Daniel Katz is gonna just at any chance he gets be like, 'Hey, remember when we killed coach K and the final four and UNC beat Duke in their last two games.' And it's just going to bring me down.

While 'forever' hasn't happened, the permanence of the result and the hosts' commitment to trolling ensure this will indeed haunt him.

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Void
Apr 8, 2022
#4678
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods is the only person who can pull off a mock turtleneck; anyone else would look like a tube of cookie dough

The mock turtleneck, short sleeve, tight shirt, people are going nuts over and you're going to see a lot of guys that try to pull off this look that Tiger's got right now. And it's only Tiger that can pull this off. If you or I showed up, it would look like we got a big tube of cookie dough that got left out in the sun for three days.

Subjective opinion on fashion and physique.
Loss
Apr 8, 2022
#4680
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James is noble for missing the playoffs to step away like Bruce Arians and give young stars the spotlight

Like Bruce Arians, LeBron decided that now was the time to step away from the game and put the spotlight on some up and coming players that might not be able to get that much attention if LeBron was still around dominating the conversation.

LeBron literally missed the playoffs, but the 'noble' intent is entirely satirical.
Loss
Apr 8, 2022
#24585
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James will eventually declare himself a huge Ja Morant fan and try to get him traded to the Lakers

I'll just call my shot right now. [LeBron James] is going to become the biggest Ja Morant fan, baby Braun. Cause you know Ja Morant will do something insane in the playoffs and he'd be like, holy shit, I'd love to play with him. Can we get him traded to the Lakers?

While LeBron has praised Morant, the trade to the Lakers never materialized and Ja remained a Grizzly.

More from Hank

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Open
HankHank

This is the Knicks' championship to lose

This series is over. Right. And the Spurs Thunder series looks like it's going at least six, probably seven. Like it looks like an absolute battle. Yeah. So that's good for them. The Spurs all things, I mean, this is, this is the Knicks championship to lose.

The Knicks are currently in the second round/Conference finals (implied), so they haven't won the championship yet.
Void
HankHank

My official stance on the Toucher & Rich radio beef is simply 'fuck 'em'

I'm not leading this battle. They took a shot. I said fuck him. And that's where I stand... Official stance. So you guys can just fuck him.

Subjective personal stance.
Loss
HankHank

I did not fart during the Kellen Moore interview; it was just air that fell out of my body

The sound did come out of me, my body. But it was not a conscious fart... Most farts air coming out of your asshole, max, most farts max have to push. Like most farts, you're like, this one fell out... I was not like, consciously like, oh, I got a fart. But when I lifted up my leg, I, I guess I had like gas down there... A dude came out of my ass. That was so loud.

It was definitively a fart.