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Win
HankHank

Losing to UNC in Coach K's final game will haunt me for the rest of my life

Whenever I'm happy, whenever anything goes in my life, whenever I'm feeling good or like something Patriots, Celtics, whatever it may be. I just know that Daniel Katz is gonna just at any chance he gets be like, 'Hey, remember when we killed coach K and the final four and UNC beat Duke in their last two games.' And it's just going to bring me down.

While 'forever' hasn't happened, the permanence of the result and the hosts' commitment to trolling ensure this will indeed haunt him.

More from this episode

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Void
Apr 8, 2022
#4678
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods is the only person who can pull off a mock turtleneck; anyone else would look like a tube of cookie dough

The mock turtleneck, short sleeve, tight shirt, people are going nuts over and you're going to see a lot of guys that try to pull off this look that Tiger's got right now. And it's only Tiger that can pull this off. If you or I showed up, it would look like we got a big tube of cookie dough that got left out in the sun for three days.

Subjective opinion on fashion and physique.
Loss
Apr 8, 2022
#4680
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James is noble for missing the playoffs to step away like Bruce Arians and give young stars the spotlight

Like Bruce Arians, LeBron decided that now was the time to step away from the game and put the spotlight on some up and coming players that might not be able to get that much attention if LeBron was still around dominating the conversation.

LeBron literally missed the playoffs, but the 'noble' intent is entirely satirical.
Loss
Apr 8, 2022
#24585
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James will eventually declare himself a huge Ja Morant fan and try to get him traded to the Lakers

I'll just call my shot right now. [LeBron James] is going to become the biggest Ja Morant fan, baby Braun. Cause you know Ja Morant will do something insane in the playoffs and he'd be like, holy shit, I'd love to play with him. Can we get him traded to the Lakers?

While LeBron has praised Morant, the trade to the Lakers never materialized and Ja remained a Grizzly.

More from Hank

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.