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HankHank

Magic Johnson is the greatest nickname in sports history

I think it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it just becomes his name. It is Magic Johnson. There is no one better than Magic Johnson. Irvin Johnson becoming Magic. I mean, it's just synonymous.

This is a subjective pick for a Mount Rushmore segment.

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Loss
Aug 11, 2021
#14233
Big CatBig Cat

The Dallas Cowboys are going to win the Super Bowl this year

I can't see a world that Dallas don't win at least 15 games and CD Lamb should be a first rounder and Amari Cooper should be a first rounder and Dak Prescott... should be a first rounder... they are going to win the Super Bowl.

The 2021 Cowboys won 12 games and lost in the Wild Card round to the 49ers. They did not win the Super Bowl or 15 games.
Push
Aug 11, 2021
#24800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ezekiel Elliott will return to his elite form this season because he finally has his six-pack back

Zeke is going to be back to physique this year... the dude has the six pack back. He doesn't have the belly anymore. physique-iel Elliott. He looks skinny. He looks, it looks very skinny.

Elliott rushed for 1,002 yards and 10 TDs in 2021. While a solid season, it was not a return to his league-leading 'elite' form from his first few seasons.
Void
Aug 11, 2021
#14235
Big CatBig Cat

A head coach finding out their star quarterback is injured is the most devastating news possible

I need every head coach to be miked up when they get that type of news, because it is absolutely devastating. It's like stuff... I'm talking, you could tell them their family just got kidnapped and they'd be like, all right, well, we'll figure out after practice, but [the trainer] walking up being like, 'Hey, it's a muscular thing. We don't know.'

Subjective hyperbole about the relative importance of football vs personal life for NFL coaches.

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HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
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HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.