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Void
HankHank

Refusing to use the metric system is a top-tier American trait

For our final pick, we will go with refusing to use the metric system. Just the rest of the world uses it. It makes such perfect sense... and we're like, oh, we're doing 12 inches.

Subjective humor about American exceptionalism.

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Push
Jun 29, 2022
#16245
Big CatBig Cat

Kyrie Irving's teammates probably don't enjoy the drama despite what they say publicly

I would guarantee his teammates don't love this. I don't know. But he gets so much... I feel like all of his teammates that have ever talked about him publicly have said how much they love him. They like go out of their way to come up them playing with him. Yeah. But he, the problem is he hasn't been playing that much.

While speculative, subsequent reports of internal friction and Kyrie's eventual trade suggest his teammates likely grew tired of the distractions.
Loss
Jun 29, 2022
#16246
Big CatBig Cat

The Clippers are going to be a problem in the NBA this season

John Wall moving to the Clippers. Club's going to be a problem. So Clippers are an issue right now. Playoff P is back this season... Kawhi is him. They have three hims. He plays every other year... he comes back and plays one insane year and they're like Kawhi, best player in the league.

The 2022-23 Clippers were a 5th seed and lost in the first round of the playoffs, largely due to injuries again. They were not the dominant 'problem' predicted.
Push
Jun 29, 2022
#16247
Big CatBig Cat

Deshaun Watson will be suspended for at least a full year

We're first reporting on Pardon My Take that Deshaun Watson will be suspended for [at least a full] year. Yep. On Friday... my guess is it will be a suspension for a year, and then the appeal is going to come through... then Goodell is going to be like, okay, I'll like reduce it to 14 games or 12 games.

Watson was originally suspended for 6 games, but after an NFL appeal and settlement, it was increased to 11 games (effectively most of the season). Big Cat was close with the 12-game estimate.

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HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.