The 2024 Washington Commanders are frauds

Bernie Madoff. Sam Bankman-Fried. The 2020 election. The 2024 Washington Commanders. [Frauds]. Sometimes the haters are right. When the haters are right, you gotta say, great job haters.

Kliff Kingsbury's offenses inevitably decline in the second half of every season

This gets at going back to Kliff [Kingsbury]'s entire existence in the second half of seasons. So back at Texas Tech, here's his record as a head coach... His offense looks completely different right now. We had Austin Ekeler. That's pretty much it.

Drake Maye is going to be a superstar

Coach Gruden on the stream also was asked him about Caleb Williams or Drake Maye. And he said Drake Maye. Drake Maye is gonna be a superstar. Patriots have looked good... I think Drake Maye is very good. We're gonna talk about it actually more and I said something about Drake Maye that is a very high compliment.

Any man who asks for a blanket because he's cold isn't a real man

Any man who is, who is cold, you're not a man. Is not a man. Not a man. ... Or if they're like, oh, I'm cold. Do you have a blanket that I can use?

Anyone complaining about Bryce Harper being credited with a triple against the Diamondbacks doesn't know baseball

It was. They scored a triple. It was, it's a triple. ... He would've been thrown out for sure. Yeah. But it is a triple and anyone who's complaining about it being a triple does not know ball.

If I had to eat only one thing for the rest of my life, it would be a turkey sandwich

If I had to only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would probably be a turkey sandwich. It's a turkeys run-the-football [pick].