The Celtics are a way better team than the Mavericks

The Celtics are up two. Oh, congratulations Hank. Thank you. Your team is so much better than the Mavs. Yeah, they are. They are a way better team. It's great, great team win. It's not even really close.

Kyrie Irving has gotten too mature and needs to 'get weird' to break his slump

Somebody needs to like snap Kyrie [Irving] out of this. 'Cause we've been talking, we've been glazing Kyrie a lot, these playoffs talking about how mature he is gotten... Has Kyrie gotten too mature? Yeah. Is a question we should be asking. I want to hear like the Kyrie hatred for Boston.

The NBA Finals are already over after Game 2

What you need to transition your brain to, because this, this series, the Celtics are just better. Yeah, no, this is over. I'm over.

Any man who asks for a blanket because he's cold isn't a real man

Any man who is, who is cold, you're not a man. Is not a man. Not a man. ... Or if they're like, oh, I'm cold. Do you have a blanket that I can use?

Anyone complaining about Bryce Harper being credited with a triple against the Diamondbacks doesn't know baseball

It was. They scored a triple. It was, it's a triple. ... He would've been thrown out for sure. Yeah. But it is a triple and anyone who's complaining about it being a triple does not know ball.

If I had to eat only one thing for the rest of my life, it would be a turkey sandwich

If I had to only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would probably be a turkey sandwich. It's a turkeys run-the-football [pick].