Jameis Winston is a Hall of Famer

He's a Hall of Famer. No one else has done that [throw back-to-back 450-plus yard games].

The Lions are the worst franchise in the NFL

The Lions are the worst franchise in the NFL. And I feel really bad for Lions fans, even though I root for a team in their division... They have one single playoff win in the Super Bowl era.

The Texans cycle perfectly between statement wins and statement losses

The Texans now have gone statement win, statement loss, statement win. And that sums up the Texans perfectly. They just flip-flop. They beat the Patriots on primetime, they laid an egg against a bad Broncos team, and then they go into Nashville against the hottest team in the NFL and beat them in their building.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.