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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Andy Dalton is done as a relevant starting quarterback

And then the Bengals, who is it? Is that it for Andy Dalton? Are we done? I think we're done here. I think it's time to just be done... I want to see [Ryan Finley] in a game. Terrell Suggs could floss with him, that's how narrow he is.

Dalton was benched for Finley later that season and the Bengals drafted Joe Burrow #1 overall in 2020.

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Void
Oct 2, 2019
#17908
Big CatBig Cat

Adult males who buy baseball pants should be put on a no-fly list

I think any time somebody buys an adult male buys a pair of baseball pants. They should be put on a no-fly list.

This is a subjective matter of taste and societal standards.
Win
Oct 2, 2019
#17905
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Nationals are a team of destiny

I'm beginning to think team of destiny. The oh the Nats. Yeah. Okay, prove me wrong.

The 2019 Nationals went on one of the most improbable runs in MLB history, eventually winning the World Series.
Loss
Oct 2, 2019
#17906
Big CatBig Cat

The Dodgers will beat the Nationals

I think the Dodgers will [prove you wrong].

The Nationals beat the Dodgers in 5 games in the NLDS.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.