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Loss
May 2, 2018
#15821
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Astros pitchers have higher spin rates because Houston is closer to the equator

There's a reason why all the NASA sites in the United States are closer to the equator because the Earth spins faster the closer you get to the equator. So it's cheaper to fly a rocket there. So I think the fact that it's in Houston and further south means the ball spins faster.

While the earth does rotate faster at the equator, this has no measurable effect on a baseball's RPMs relative to the pitcher's hand.

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Win
May 2, 2018
#15810
Big CatBig Cat

The Toronto Raptors are the softest team I've ever watched

The Raptors are the softest team I've ever watched. And having Fred VanVleet take the game-winning shot in overtime, how do you have DeRozan and Lowry and you have these guys... they shrink in every big moment. They're so soft that they made Kevin Love look like the tough guy.

The Raptors were swept by the Cavaliers in this series, confirming the 'soft' narrative for that season, which led to the firing of Dwane Casey and the trade for Kawhi Leonard.
Win
May 2, 2018
#15811
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Matt Murray sucks and his glove hand is a liability

Murray sucks. Murray sucks on ice. His glove hand stinks. And his glove leg sucks too. I think he had a stroke. I think the left side of his body has been paralyzed.

The Penguins lost the series in 6 games, and Murray's performance was criticized throughout that postseason compared to his previous Cup runs.
Win
May 2, 2018
#28934
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

This feels like the year the Capitals finally get past the Penguins and win it all

Feels like this is a year. Feels good. We might be a little biased because we're all such big Caps fans here, but 2-1 [in the series] feels good.

The Capitals defeated the Penguins in 6 games and went on to win the Stanley Cup.

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Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31796
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31802
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.