Australia does not exist
Australia doesn't exist. Australia is not a real place... Australia was invented by the British because it was like a penal colony... airline pilots are all in on it, too... when you fly people on vacation to Australia, you just take them down to Chile, and they never know the difference.
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View episodeTodd Haley and Gregg Williams are the meanest sons of bitches in the world
My biggest takeaway from Hard Knocks is that Todd Haley and Greg Williams combined are the meanest sons of bitches in the world.
Hue Jackson has a future as the Lorne Michaels of comedy football
I actually think [Hue] Jackson has a future as a Lorne Michaels. He's just been putting together the perfect comedy troupe of a football team for the last three years.
Devon Cajuste's belief in the power of crystals and the full moon will be what gets him a spot on the Browns roster
I actually do kind of believe in the crystals, like the harnessing of the crystal power is probably what's going to get [Cajuste] on the team. Either that or the full moon. Once a month, he will give you a hell of a game.
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View profileThe Ravens' fourth-quarter problems are moving earlier
Historically, the fourth-quarter Ravens have not been a great team. That fourth-quarter Ravens has started to creep its way into the third-quarter Ravens. And I think eventually it's going to keep creeping earlier and earlier in the game. I don't think it's going to get better because the defense does not look good.
Baker Mayfield has a real revenge game against Cleveland
This is like a big Baker revenge spot too. This is not a made-up Baker—I have a perceived slight against me because some team didn't trade for me when I was on the market. This is Baker Mayfield against Stefanski, and they haven't talked since he left Cleveland.
The NFL should reduce the season to 16 games
I'm going to say it. I think that 17 games is too much. I like the scarcity. I like if you brought it back to 16, because the NFL's also been playing this game for a long time where they have to find safer-looking ways to do a dangerous activity.