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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Baylor will win the National Championship

I'm going against Joel. I'm going with Baylor. I'm going with our guy Jared [Butler].

Baylor won the national championship 86-70.

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Win
Apr 5, 2021
#1908
Big CatBig Cat

Gonzaga vs. UCLA was one of the best tournament games in history

This is sports rule because we have the national championship tonight in the Final Four on Saturday and one of the best basketball games, tournament games, we've watched in the history of the tournament. I'm fine with maybe being a little hyperbolic with that statement, that game fucking ruled.

The game is widely cited by sports media as one of the greatest Final Four games ever due to the Jalen Suggs buzzer-beater and the quality of play.
Win
Apr 5, 2021
#22028
Big CatBig Cat

The Houston Cougars were never on the same level as the elite teams in the 2021 NCAA Tournament.

Houston, nice run, gets to the Final Four, but kind of what we always thought in terms of the elite teams, that [Houston] wasn't on that level, and that's no shame to Houston.

Baylor defeated Houston 78-59 in the Final Four, supporting the claim that they were on a different level.
Void
Apr 5, 2021
#22029
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I am 'simp as fuck' for Miley Cyrus and her musical performance at the Final Four was incredible.

I am as simp as fuck for Miley Cyrus. If there's a scale of, like, one to infinity for my simp level for it... 90% of this is about the musical performance she put on and her song selection. Plus, when you come out there looking like Dog the Bounty Hunter mixed with Freddie Mercury mixed with Pamela Anderson from Barbed Wire, you're going to have my attention.

The quality of a musical performance is subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.