DJ Burns is the man and NC State is America's team for beating Duke

DJ Burns is the fucking man. Yes. I love him. Thank everyone in America should thank DJ Burns for beating Duke. Oh. For just being awesome.

The only way to defend DJ Burns is to pull the chair out from under him

The, if you're not a giant, the only way that you can defend him is something that Duke tried to do one time tonight that never went back to it. Where you just back away from him. As he's putting that, he pull the chair, you pull the chair out and then he gets outta control. That's the only way that you can stop him because you can't push back against him.

Zach Edey is legitimately good at basketball despite his game being unenjoyable to watch

Purdue fans should just be like, that's okay because we win. You know what I mean? Like, it's at a point where it's like to quote our good friend Jay Bilis, agree to disagree. Zach Edey is really good at basketball. Most of America doesn't enjoy this experience. It's okay. Thinking otherwise is stupid.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.