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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bill Belichick to the Buffalo Bills would be a perfect fit

Now it does feel like Belichick is gonna go to the Falcons, but Rex Ryan threw something out yesterday that I kind of, I don't hate Belichick to the bills. It actually, it makes sense. I think it makes for a team that wants to win right now.

Belichick did not join the Bills; he ended up as a media analyst for the 2024 season.

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Void
Jan 24, 2024
#21644
Big CatBig Cat

Every January 22nd, all NBA teams should be required to try and break the single-game scoring record in honor of Kobe Bryant's 81-point game

Darren Rovell actually had a great idea that on February or January 22nd, every single year, the day that Kobe dropped 81 on the Raptors, every team should have to try to break the record. I like that idea. That's good.

This is a whimsical suggestion for a league rule change, making it inherently subjective.
Loss
Jan 24, 2024
#6860
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

James Harden will try to score 60 points in his next game to answer Joel Embiid

I'm gonna bet on James Harden in his next game to go out there and try to score like 55, 60 points. Yeah. I feel like he's got something to prove. He's got an answer for it.

Harden scored 22 points on 5-of-14 shooting against the Raptors on January 26, 2024, the game following this take.
Win
Jan 24, 2024
#6859
Big CatBig Cat

Joel Embiid will not win MVP this year because he'll miss too many games

He probably won't be able to win MVP 'cause he's gonna miss too many games this year. He's already missed 11 outta 40... it will be very funny if Joel has like an even better year than last year. But because he plays like 64 games instead of 65, that'll be the quickest that everyone will turn on a rule.

Embiid missed significant time due to a knee injury and finished the season with only 39 games played, disqualifying him from MVP consideration.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.