Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bobby Petrino coaches every game with a waistband-tucked boner

I've got a theory that Bobby Petrino coaches every single game doing a waistband tuck... He's got full erection. Every conference game, he's got a full erection. Just keep an eye on that for maybe a little cherry poking out of the top.

This is a hyperbolic comedic claim that is not verifiable or likely true.

More from this episode

View episode
Loss
Aug 12, 2016
#14684
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James' massive contract will cripple the Cavaliers' long-term future

I think [LeBron James] might have crippled the Cavaliers long term with this deal... The Cavaliers, they've got so much dead money that's going to be hanging around LeBron James' neck in three years. They're going to be lucky to eke out 40 wins in a season.

Incorrect. LeBron left for the Lakers in 2018, and while the Cavs struggled post-LeBron, the contract itself didn't 'cripple' them; they won 51 and 50 games in the following two seasons.
Win
Aug 12, 2016
#14685
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Warriors window will open in a year and a half and they will be set for the next 5-10 years

This is basically a free agent signing for the Warriors. Like, getting the Cavaliers to commit this much money to [LeBron] right now... So the Warriors are going to be – their window is going to open up in like a year and a half. And then they're going to be set for the next like five, ten years.

The Warriors won the next two NBA titles and remained a dominant force for nearly a decade, fulfilling the 5-10 year window prediction.
Void
Aug 12, 2016
#27696
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL needs to officially suspend Aaron Hernandez immediately

Aaron Hernandez, now convicted of the murder of Odin Lloyd, he's been charged with double homicide. He's being investigated for another shooting. Still not officially suspended by the NFL... We are the Woodward and Bernstein [of this story].

The NFL eventually placed him on the reserve/left squad list, but since he was in prison for life, a formal 'suspension' became a moot point of league semantics.

More from PFT Commenter

View profile
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.