Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

Duke would have won the National Championship by 50 points if they had reached the final.

I think if Duke plays in the championship game, they win by 50. Easily. That was a wasted opportunity.

Michigan is already the favorite to win the National Championship again next season.

Michigan I think is right now the favorites to win next season. Tough to win back to back, but he has to hit the portal. He has to be active... which he already is.

College basketball is now 'pay to win' and that's unsustainable

It's a pay to win tournament. Like basketball is ruined. Unsustainable. Yeah, that's the new word that I keep hearing.