NFL ratings will skyrocket now that the election is over

All those people who are watching electric coverage instead of the NFL, welcome back. The league is better than ever. Ratings are going to skyrocket.

A unified hatred of being a Browns fan is the only thing that can pull the nation together

The most healing thing might be to sit down and all watch the Browns because we're all experiencing relief that at least we're not Browns fans. That is the one thing that can pull our nation together, our unified hatred of potentially being a Browns fan.

LeBron James is due to get busted for steroids at any time

And LeBron's due to get busted for steroids any time now.

Augusta National likely set up Mark Calcavecchia to get caught with a cell phone to prove they still have authority

My theory is that they talked to... a behind the scenes situation where they said, we getting a lot of shit. People are saying that we still don't have it, so we're gonna throw your ass out if you're okay with just saying that he had a cell phone. So I think it might be a setup.

I can shoot a 110 at Augusta National

I actually don't think that what I said was that stupid. You said you could shoot 110. I think I could shoot 109. I could break 110. I'm not saying I would do it every time. I don't think so. I think I could do it.

Everyone should be able to break 150 at Augusta National

It was more so the people that were like, dude, you can break 150. I think everybody, everyone here should be able to break 150 at Augusta.