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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Dwyane Wade dunking during the Canadian national anthem is the most American thing possible

He was actually dunking during it, which I think is the most American thing that you can do is just be dunking during another country's anthem. But like, isn't there a fine line between being like too courteous to another country and then committing treason? Because if you're really respecting the other anthem, that means that you don't love your own country.

This is a satirical interpretation of sportsmanship and patriotism.

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May 9, 2016
#27506
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bob Costas is passionate about every sport he covers except for Sunday Night Football, where he sucks

Everything that [Bob Costas] attends, that's the kind of passion that Bob puts, except for Sunday night football. He sucks at that. He's like, 'hey, America, knock it off with the guns.' And then everyone's like, 'oh, shit, we should probably get rid of our guns.'

Subjective opinion on broadcasting quality and personality.
Push
May 9, 2016
#10760
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2016 Cubs are the best team in MLB history and will sweep the World Series

I think this might be the best baseball team in the history of Major League Baseball, and I think that there's no chance that anything bad could happen to them this year. Like, they're going to cruise. I think it's going to be four-game sweep in the World Series.

The Cubs did win the 2016 World Series, making the 'best team' claim arguable, but they did not sweep (won in 7 games).
Void
May 9, 2016
#10761
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bryce Harper is a coward for taking intentional walks instead of swinging at pitch-outs

I actually think that Bryce Harper is a coward for not swinging at any of those pitches. Say what you want about Vlad Guerrero, but the guy would take a cut at a pitch out. My question is, if Harper doesn't like it so much, why does he put a stop to it and just take a running start and just groove one of the meatballs that's thrown outside?

This is an inherently subjective satirical take on player behavior.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The schedule release is a highly watched media event, though many analysts share the sentiment that it is overblown.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

This is a procedural suggestion that has not been implemented by the league.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.

This is a hypothetical scheduling proposal to solve the issue of horses skipping the second jewel of the Triple Crown.