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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

ESPN should hire Curt Schilling and Keith Olbermann for a PTI-style debate show

Politics are big now. Trump is huge. Pick a side. ... hire a PTI-style debate show with Curt Schilling and Keith Olbermann. And just like the MJ-LeBron debate comes up every day, just do a Colin Kaepernick debate every single day. People want to hear that.

ESPN explicitly moved away from politics under Pitaro, doing the opposite of this satirical advice.

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Void
Mar 7, 2018
#5686
Big CatBig Cat

College basketball and the Little League World Series have the most in-game crying in sports

I don't know what it is, but it's college basketball has the most. It's probably it's Little League World Series and then college basketball for most tears in game.

Void
Mar 7, 2018
#5687
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Teams with celebratory benches are the most likely to cry after a loss

I like the teams that are the ones that get celebrated early in the year as having the best bench... Those teams are full of criers. If you show that much emotion after a late first half three-pointer, then you're going to turn the waterworks on when you lose in your conference semifinals.

Win
Mar 7, 2018
#23481
Big CatBig Cat

The new TBS Selection Sunday format is stupid and ruins the bubble watch excitement

The Selection Sunday Show by TBS... They basically said... we're actually going to reveal the entire field. And then reveal the bracket at the end of the show. So basically ruin all the bubble watch. ... Literally every single person in America just wants to see the fucking bracket.

The 2018 Selection Show was famously panned for revealing the teams in alphabetical order early in the show, which was widely considered a failure and changed in subsequent years.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.