Joe Buck + Guys on Chicks

ESPN should hire Curt Schilling and Keith Olbermann for a PTI-style debate show

Politics are big now. Trump is huge. Pick a side. ... hire a PTI-style debate show with Curt Schilling and Keith Olbermann. And just like the MJ-LeBron debate comes up every day, just do a Colin Kaepernick debate every single day. People want to hear that.

Ed Hochuli's retirement is a major blow to the NFL's masculinity

My hot seat is NFL's masculinity. Ed Hochuli retired. He's gone. There's going to be no more giant arms coming at you every Sunday, so I don't know what NFL's going to do. They need someone to fill the void of just a jacked, jacked ref.

Pizza Hut deserves more recognition now that they are the official NFL sponsor

My cool throne is Pizza Hut. We didn't really talk about this on the show last week, but Pizza Hut is now the official sponsor of the NFL. And that's huge because Pizza Hut's delicious, and I'm just happy that they're getting the recognition they deserve.

Taco Bell's CEO is the perfect hire for Chipotle

Chipotle just hired Taco Bell's CEO. And we all know that Taco Bell never causes any sort of intestinal discomfort. ... It's really the only hire that you can make if you're Chipotle. Like, who else in America knows how to package tortillas, rice, tomatoes, cheese, meat, and sour cream?

No one will run on Jon Lester because they're afraid of being picked off by a bounce throw

So John Lester's on the cool throne. He is going to unveil a new bounce throw to first base. ... You can't be the guy who gets picked off from a bounce throw. So now you got to be thinking about that in the back of your head. Don't run on Jon Lester because the embarrassment will be suffocating.

Tony Romo was surprisingly good in his first year as an announcer

I swear to God on the lives of everyone I love, I was absolutely blown away at how good [Tony Romo] was. I really was. I was predicting he was going to have a tough transition because you have to be loud and you have to be kind of over the top... I thought he was fantastic.

NFL replays are too long and break the game's momentum

I think the replays are too long. It's too hair-splitting. It breaks up the momentum and the pace of a game. And I think eventually people are like... Just move on.

The NFL catch rule fails the eye test even if the letter of the law is technically followed

The Calvin Johnson one that kind of started all this... Against the Bears was like he made a catch, went to the ground, basically went to his locker, and the ball fell out. And they're like, nope, not a catch. It was a catch. Same with the Dez Bryant game... by the letter of the law, yeah, they're not catches. But the law is not right. It doesn't pass the eye test.

Mike Matheny is a 'big dum-dum' manager

Mike Matheny. Yeah, I think he's a dummy. He's a big dum-dum. So wrong. Yeah, big dum-dum.

Oracle Park in San Francisco is leaps and bounds better than any other new ballpark

I think San Francisco, of all the new ballparks, is... Leaps and bounds. But the worse your seat is, the better your view. You're looking out into the bay.

Bryce Harper will sign with either the Cubs or the Red Sox

My people are saying... That he [Bryce Harper] is going to go to the Boston Red Sox. Or Wrigley. Yeah, my people are saying he's going to the Cubs. ... If it happens... as first reported by Joe Buck in 2018. That he's going to likely the Cubs or the Red Sox.

Eating steroid-contaminated meat is a smart off-season move for athletes

Canelo Alvarez, who tested positive for steroids. And he said it was actually because he was eating too many Mexican cows. ... I actually think this played. ... that's actually a smart thing to do is you just go in the off season, eat Mexican cows, and then when you get busted, be like, well, sorry. All I did was eat Mexican cows.

Bullpen carts are the only thing baseball is currently doing right

The bullpen cart is back, which is incredible. Like baseball finally doing something right. I don't care about pace of play. I really don't. ... It speeds up the game when it really probably takes four seconds off, maybe.

Morning sex is the best kind of sex, especially in a hotel

I'm going to go on the record. Morning sex is the best sex there is. Hotel sex. In the morning. Ooh. Double threat.

Men and women should never stop grooming their pubic hair

What is the age where it is normal that you stop shaving or waxing your pubes? ... Never is the answer. ... I think you always ... Guys and girls. You got to keep it together down there. I mean, would you let your lawn just go unkempt?

College basketball and the Little League World Series have the most in-game crying in sports

I don't know what it is, but it's college basketball has the most. It's probably it's Little League World Series and then college basketball for most tears in game.

Teams with celebratory benches are the most likely to cry after a loss

I like the teams that are the ones that get celebrated early in the year as having the best bench... Those teams are full of criers. If you show that much emotion after a late first half three-pointer, then you're going to turn the waterworks on when you lose in your conference semifinals.

The Thursday noon game in the NCAA tournament is a fan's death sentence

The Thursday noon game, if your team gets that, it's a death sentence. You get really drunk on Friday, and then you can watch your team on Sunday hungover.